At violin lessons yesterday, the instructor casually announced that she was leaving and offering no more instructions after the recital on May 4th. I immediately felt my stomach lurch, and then plummet down to the region around my socks. For the past six months, I have watched my daughter feel pride in herself as she was able to master one song and technique after another on this difficult instrument. I felt pride myself, as I noticed her become more and more willing to try. So now what? The instructor recommended a program at Duquesne University, which meets nearly every Saturday during the school year. Now my stomach was tying itself in knots. I get very anxious even THINKING about driving in Pittsburgh, but to do it on a WEEKLY basis??? What about our very sacred weekends? No more weekend trips or sleeping in. Less time to spend with Daddy, who this week made it home for dinner once, and home for bedtime twice. But...do we just throw away all the time, effort, travelling, tears and money that we spent on the past six months of instruction?
I feel incredibly guilty at the thought of not wanting to continue because of the inconvenience of city driving and weekends lost. J, I think, feels a little bit relieved to think about not doing it anymore. The practicing, you see, was interrupting her play time. Where do you draw the line between what is best for your child, and what is best for you? What is really best for my child?
I face a similar quandary when trying to decide about Home Schooling J next year for Kindergarten. As far as our family schedule goes, doing schooling at home would be infinitely more convenient than sending her to the public school. I was also under-whelmed by the curriculum at the public school after meeting with 2 of the Kindergarten teachers this week. Some of the curriculum I've looked at with the cyber charter schools looks really amazing! I have very little patience, which is a problem when adding children to the mix anyway, but even more worrisome when anticipating being the sole instructor for my child. Is is worth the convenience to my family to perhaps have J's schooling tainted by my faults? Is it worth jeopardizing our relationship?
Is there a special trick to making those kinds of decisions?
I should think positively. Maybe this experience could be the greatest thing for J and I that we could ever imagine. Perhaps Duquesne would know of someone else who does private lessons in the area. After a week of many ups and downs, I'm feeling pretty down today.
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3 comments:
If you really just wanted a listening ear and no thoughts, don't read this! But these were the questions I was asking myself...FWIW....Are the sacrifices you would make so Jenna can continue with violin, worth the sacrifices that would be made in your family life? (Less of Dad, more of car?) Is that family time really sacred? Should it be? Would NOT continuing the instruction actually be "throwing away" everything you've put into it for the past 6 months, or might you retain some of those benefits even if you don't continue? Can those types of valuable character lessons be learned in other ways closer to home? ...On the other hand, could you take your family life on the road every weekend and have it in different ways, instead of at home? (We couldn't afford that time, but if your goals would work with that, why not?)
In addition, if you put Jenna in all day Kindergarten, when would she have time to play? And regarding HS, are your faults worse than her teacher's would be or the public school system's would be? Could you give one or the other a try and see if it works? (I recommend trying HS first, because of the process of pulling out of school. At that age it's easier to go that direction legally, since according to the law in PA, you don't have to enroll your child in school until they are 8). HS IS a learning experience for everyone in the family. What are John's thoughts? Those who homeschool think parents are the best teachers, especially in the early years. It also depends on what you want for your child in terms of actual education and character-training.
Have you checked out anyone in Washington for the violin lessons? I only wonder because I know a few people whose older children (jr high/high school)play and I wondered. I will ask them if they have any tips. Seems like a big commitment to drive to Pgh once a week.
S.
Thanks, Elaines, for listening! I do think that the time we already put into violin would be wasted if we can't continue. She has and will continue to experience challenges and successes in other things, but I feel that music lessons are valuable, perhaps because I grew up with piano lessons once a week for about 6-8 years, and nothing else quite does the same things for one's life experience as that. However, there may be other opportunities closer to home. I just haven't figured out how to find out! Next week (at the instructor's request) I will call out to Duquesne and see what info they have. I'll also call the instructor and ask if there are any other places to look (we don't have time for chatting during lessons). Maybe even the music/band teachers (I'm assuming they still have those) at the school would have ideas. I just don't think that the Pgh thing is a realistic option for us. As far as HS goes, I have prepared myself over the past few months to do it, and that is the way I feel led at the moment. Of course, now is the time that J finally WANTS to go to school (the playground is a big draw):-) I agree that trying HS first makes more sense from legal standpoints and because in my inexperience, I am more likely to be a better guide in the earlier grade things (I think I've mastered all the K requirements by now!) I also think it's time to see my Dr. about some of my psychological issues...sigh...if Mom's psyche was on an even keel, these issues might not feel so overwhelming!
T
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